Happy

Lately, I've been deeply contemplating the term happy. As many of you know, I recently quit my job to work at 211 Life Line which is a call center. I've been answering questions and scheduling appointments for a free tax prep program called CASH. So far, it's been a good experience. Im actually feeling useful. I'm actually doing what's written in my job description. So that's been good. I'm living at home, which has been great. I'm making more money, which is awesome. I've been spending my time with some wonderful people, which is so uplifting. I've been doing some work for a ministry that I have believed in since I was in second grade. Lately, I've been genuinely Happy. This is the first time I've been able to say that since probably September. I'm actually Happy.

So something else I've been thinking about in relation to being happy is the fact that Happy is a choice. Which I believe it is, sometimes. I believe that sometimes, you just need to decide to appreciate what you have and be happy with it. 

But I also believe that sometimes it's not a choice. Sometimes, it's the most difficult concept to grasp. Sometimes Happy seems so far away from where you currently are. And that is an unbelievably hard place to be, because people will tell you to just be happy, just be over it already. Just know that you have a job, and that should be good enough for you, because that's more than some people have. But when you know that there's more out there for you than driving into work everyday, sitting at your desk and doing nothing, and then going home to sit around by yourself, and that's what you've been doing, it becomes difficult to choose Happy. 

So I guess in some ways, I did choose Happy. Because I chose to move home, where I'd be less lonely and bored. I chose to leave my job where my skills and talents weren't being used, and where I wasn't even doing what my job description said I was supposed to be doing. But choosing Happy wasn't a switch I flipped in my brain. It's been about two months since I was just so unhappy that I knew I needed to change, and once I had that in my brain, I couldn't choose anything but the small choices to help me choose long term Happy. 

So I guess all I want to say to those of you that aren't Happy, and are sick of hearing "appreciate what you have," or "it'll get better," is: hold on. It may not seem that you can choose Happy directly. You need to hold on. You may need to make choices that may not seem Happy, but will bring you Hapoy eventually. Then one day, you'll be driving home, and think to yourself "I'm Happy." And then that thought will make you even more Happy as you realize that you haven't been able to say those words for three or four months. Let the warmness of Happy take over, and remind you to choose choices that will bring you Happy.