Happy

Lately, I've been deeply contemplating the term happy. As many of you know, I recently quit my job to work at 211 Life Line which is a call center. I've been answering questions and scheduling appointments for a free tax prep program called CASH. So far, it's been a good experience. Im actually feeling useful. I'm actually doing what's written in my job description. So that's been good. I'm living at home, which has been great. I'm making more money, which is awesome. I've been spending my time with some wonderful people, which is so uplifting. I've been doing some work for a ministry that I have believed in since I was in second grade. Lately, I've been genuinely Happy. This is the first time I've been able to say that since probably September. I'm actually Happy.

So something else I've been thinking about in relation to being happy is the fact that Happy is a choice. Which I believe it is, sometimes. I believe that sometimes, you just need to decide to appreciate what you have and be happy with it. 

But I also believe that sometimes it's not a choice. Sometimes, it's the most difficult concept to grasp. Sometimes Happy seems so far away from where you currently are. And that is an unbelievably hard place to be, because people will tell you to just be happy, just be over it already. Just know that you have a job, and that should be good enough for you, because that's more than some people have. But when you know that there's more out there for you than driving into work everyday, sitting at your desk and doing nothing, and then going home to sit around by yourself, and that's what you've been doing, it becomes difficult to choose Happy. 

So I guess in some ways, I did choose Happy. Because I chose to move home, where I'd be less lonely and bored. I chose to leave my job where my skills and talents weren't being used, and where I wasn't even doing what my job description said I was supposed to be doing. But choosing Happy wasn't a switch I flipped in my brain. It's been about two months since I was just so unhappy that I knew I needed to change, and once I had that in my brain, I couldn't choose anything but the small choices to help me choose long term Happy. 

So I guess all I want to say to those of you that aren't Happy, and are sick of hearing "appreciate what you have," or "it'll get better," is: hold on. It may not seem that you can choose Happy directly. You need to hold on. You may need to make choices that may not seem Happy, but will bring you Hapoy eventually. Then one day, you'll be driving home, and think to yourself "I'm Happy." And then that thought will make you even more Happy as you realize that you haven't been able to say those words for three or four months. Let the warmness of Happy take over, and remind you to choose choices that will bring you Happy.

An Apathetic Generation

I've been realizing a few things lately about my generation. The first is that my generation is extremely apathetic. A lot of us don't care about important things. Things like social justice problems, faith, policy issues, a failing healthcare system, parentless children, poverty, world hunger, war, or basically anything that doesn't have something to do with the small rectangle attached to their hands. Now, I'll be the first to say that yes, I do sometimes fall into this trap. I can be selfish and materialistic. However, this is something I recognize as a problem. Many people have gotten to the point where this is a normal thing, and that it's weird and strange not to be self absorbed. This is a terrible tragedy.

I've watched so many of my friends go down this path, they become consumed with themselves so much that they can't even out their phones down in order to look you in the eye and have a serious conversation with you. If we don't do something soon, we are going to lose the art of face-to-face conversation that is vital in our society. But it's more than just being on your phone (and please hear me, I am guilty of this too). When someone goes down this path, it's as if they have lost all purpose of life. Suddenly they are just living life to get through to the next step that they're supposed to. Maybe it's college, maybe it's grad school, maybe it's getting a real job, but none of it actually matters because it's not what they're passionate about. You see, people in my generation are so absorbed by what others think that they're too scared to step out of the box, to stand up for what is right, to be a voice for someone else. They'd rather turn a blind eye than get involved with something that is worthwhile, but potentially messy. 

The second thing I've noticed is that everyone else, the people who do still care, don't hold the others accountable. Either we'd rather be the heros, or we have been a little infected too (in that we're too afraid to say something). But I believe it's up to us, those of us who have not been consumed by personality-sucking virus that has plagued our generation to stand up. We were meant to say something to those people who don't care anymore, those people who would rather get drunk every weekend and continue to waste their brain cells on something that is much less productive than doing the work that they were made for. 

Us Millenials grew up learning that we could have anything we wanted. We as a generation have so much potential to grow, to be incredible, to feed the hungry, to help the poor, to free the captives, to change the world. But instead we prefer to hide behind screens that house fake friendships, surface level relationships, and shallow lives. You can't sit here and tell me that the life you wanted all along was one in which you had no real friends, you get married, then divorced, have two children, and a job you can't stand. Yet that's the life that most people in my generation are choosing! I don't get it. It's so frustrating, saddening, and discouraging. 

There's a reason that most kids will tell you they want to be a doctor, a teacher, a firefighter, a vet, when you ask them what they want to be when they grow up. It's because all people naturally want to help people or do good. This gets tarnished as we grow older as we become more and more exposed to and "okay with." And we become confused. 

So this is my charge to you: live your life with meaning. Go out there and find what you were made to do. Sit down and have a long chat with your Creator about the work you're supposed to be doing. Press the power button on your electronics long enough to get to know someone new today. Life is short, so change today, with me. 

We don't have to be shells anymore. 

The craziness that was 2013, and the craziness that will be 2014

2013 came and went like a whirlwind. It seems like I barely got used to writing 13, and now I have to adjust to 14. I can't believe it. So much happened and so much changed. But in the end, I wouldn't go back and replace any of it. Here's some of the most meaningful moments of 2013:

1) I had my last semester of college. This was heartbreaking. And terribly exciting. and terrifying. And lovely. And about 500 things/feelings all rolled into one. I worked so much (just under full time) at both of my lovely jobs (in admissions and at the library) and took mostly easy classes. It was the best semester yet.

2) I graduated college.

....With some of the best social workers I know! I'm honored to have had the experience of going through undergrad with these people.

3) I went on a cruise. And never have I ever been more relaxed than when I was on vacation with my best friends.
 
If you EVER get the chance to travel with your friends, DO IT.

4) I went to Guatemala. I was able to see this sweet face again:

And made life-long friends with the people I traveled with. Even though we got stuck in Miami for a day (bummer, right), we still had fun (however, we were getting kind of sick of each other... and we were really sunburned and barely had any clean laundry left...)!


5) The summer of 2013 was the first summer I wasn't able to be at camp all summer in over 5 years. And that was really hard. But I was able to go for a week, and some of staff training. And I had an incredible internship that made it okay. AND I MADE A PERFECT DOUGHBOY.


6) The fall of 2013 brought me my first job. While it hasn't been perfect, it's been something. I appreciate having the opportunity to create new connections, and gain the experience of working.

2013 was a pretty spectacular year. These things are just a few of the awesome experiences I've had, and I'm so excited to begin creating new ones in 2014.... So here it is, my New Years resolution for 2014:

In the year 2014, I will strive to surround myself with and create friendships that make me want to be a better person. I want to be encouraged by those around me, and hope to set this foundation so that I can be this for other people. After graduating, I feel like I need some more people in my life, and hopefully 2014 will bring that for me.