When terror attacks happen like the one in Paris on Friday, we all long for community. We long to be close and to be together. People feel feelings they never knew they had for people they have never met. We feel broken.
I know these things because I feel them too. We all feel a little closer, a little more humbled, and a little more heartbroken. I hate that it's true, but this act has truly instilled terror in us. The victims in Paris that evening were at a concert, they were out for dinner, they were out for walks. They were living life... Things we do every day. They made us realize, again, just how easily something like this could happen to us. And that is terror.
I'm struggling to put these feelings into words because no one talks about these feelings. When terrorism happens, people talk about "those people." We talk about the victims, we talk about their families, but no one talks about the global bystanders. And in some ways, that is okay. I would never want to say how we are feeling is more important, more awful than the direct victims. But when a terror attack happens, we are all victims. We're all trying to reconcile the fact that this act happened in a world that we live in. All I'm trying to say (in this part) is that the sadness, the vulnerability, the numbness is okay.
I wish media was fair. I wish it gave the same attention it's giving to France to Syria, to Beirut, to all the hurting places in the world. I wish we could be completely aware of things going on in the world so that we can have the appropriate reactions to all these hurtful things. I hate that I have to let media decide what shows up on my news feed (If I read the newspaper daily, I think I'd have a better idea of what was going on in the world, I want to be upfront about that).
Anyways, here's where this is going: I want to mourn life. Human life lost is a tragedy. I want to wrap my arms around the world and hug it so tight that everything falls back into place. I want to dry tears and make lasagna for victims' families. I am a fixer. And this situation is something I can't fix. I think that's how a lot of us feel. And so we do the next best thing: we post. We reach out...but only kind of. We change our profile pictures because it's something small that says we're hurting and that we stand with France. But I'm not convinced that's the best strategy.
I believe we need to have open conversations. We need to tell people we're hurting and scared and tired of this happening over and over. We need to plead the media to tell us all the stories. We need to stand in solidarity, but in solidarity with all. Not just the white people. Not just the developed nations. We need to speak up against crimes against all people.
Changing your profile picture is a coping strategy. I completely understand that. It's a way of saying "I'm sad and hurt and angry and I stand with you, France." But please take it further. Stand for our hurting world because there are too many things that are against humanity right now. Bake a lasagna, hug your loved ones, be informed but not terrified, put a smile on a child's face and be good to each other; tell people how you're feeling. It's not bombing the perpetrators, I know, but these are the most effective, practical strategies I can think of in a world where we don't have very many options as civilian people.
I'm sad, and hurt and confused about the things happening on this earth. And chances are you are too. There is evil out there, and who knows what today may hold. So the best responses I can think of are kindness, and humor, and compassion, and open, informed conversations.
