On Achieving Your Goals

These few weeks have been full of good things: visiting camp, spending time with friends (old and new), and most excitingly crossing things off of my 25 Things Before 25 List. For some reason, this list was oddly emotional to make. I always felt like making goals was just setting myself up to not finish them, and so I never wanted to make goals because I didn't want to disappoint myself even more. The list making started off as a light-hearted thing among friends, but as I was sitting there, I couldn't think of things that I wanted, but also didn't want to allow myself to be disappointed about. Then I realized these goals, this list, was a gift I was giving myself. I was giving myself 25 adventures to enjoy. And if I didn't make it, it didn't matter because I simply was giving myself the opportunity.

At first, I wasn't sure why this list was cause for such emotion, but I figured it out....

Anyways! I'm beginning to cross things off, and that is so exciting. So far I have:

1. I've been on Weight Watchers for 1 month.
2. I've read 2 books.
3. I got to the top of my tree climbing rope at camp!!
4. I went camping with friends.

So really, I've crossed two things off, and I'm partly done with the first two listed.

Now a word about the success of my list:

I never thought I would get to the top of my tree climbing rope. I put this on my list thinking I'd get it done at the very end of the 2 years before 25. This means that I pulled myself up about 30 feet into a tree. It was incredible. I wanted to quit a few times, but my friends wouldn't let me (quite frankly I would have quit without them). I think this happened for a reason. That was the hardest thing on the list in my eyes, except for maybe staying on Weight Watchers. The rest of the list is cake (okay, maybe reading 100 books will be more difficult than I bargained for... But if I make it to 55, I'll be happy). Now that I've done that, I know I can do any of the other things.

I have always been a big advocate for goal-setting, but not the best goal setter myself because of reasons listed above. I was scared of disappointment. I was too hard on myself. If this is you, listen to me: if you set goals, you are not allowed to beat yourself up if you try hard and don't reach your goals. If you work your butt off, give it your all, and still fall short, get back up and try again. Feel defeated for only a moment, get up, dust yourself off, and try harder. See your goals as a gift to get yourself motivated, not a beacon of disappointment. You should only be disappointed if you don't give all you've got, and even then, you should still get back up and try again. Learn from your mistakes.

But overall, be kind to yourself. You goals are there to make you a better you. Let them do that!

Sometimes legislature is easier to advocate for than a person.

I've been reading and seeing so many things that have just saddened me lately:
People being torn down by people who have never been (and never will be) in their situations.
People who don't know that they are severely loved by a God who will never leave them.
"Christians" who are more interested in telling others they're wrong rather than loving them as Christ loved the Church.
The same Christians who dare to judge a speck in someone else's eye before taking the plank out of their own.
People of God not daring to look into someone life and situation and understand where that person is.
People hating others who are trying to do the same things we're all doing (live our lives) before loving them, growing them, speaking God's love to them.


This is a response to many things, but most recently the controversy around abortion. I am heartbroken that the words "pro-life" get thrown around by people only talking about one thing.

Yes, we should be concerned about abortion, but we should also be concerned about other life issues like:

Supporting the women and couples before they get pregnant with education, finances, prayer, love, community.
Supporting the women who have chosen abortion because many of them struggle to do life normally afterward.
Supporting the women who chose not to have an abortion, but sometimes wonder if they should have because they are struggling financially to keep their kid alive.


I'm talking about love. All too often, people (Christians, I'm looking at you) get caught up in policies and government and macro level things and we forget about the people they will effect. We forget that Jesus spent so much of his time with people who were hated in their society.

I'm saying we should all spend a whole lot more time with those people our opinions effect and understand their lives. We should be the first ones offering them help, not calling them wicked and Satanic and judging them for seeking someone who will understand (I'm looking at you, Matt Walsh).

The next time you say something about abortion, please please dare to spend time with someone who has had one or who has chosen not to have one. It's all too easy to look at this mass of people and label them as child murderers, baby killers, and anti-life. Because it's a defense mechanism. It's easy-- meaning it's easy on our hearts. It's much more difficult to realize that the issue is not black and white. There are millions of people involved, born and unborn. But please don't forget that each of them has a story. Each of them has a purpose and each of them is dearly loved by God and it's our job to make sure they know that, no matter what their choices are!!!

Yes, we as Christians are called to share the Truth, but the greatest commandment is to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important commandment. The second is like it: Love you neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commandments" (Matthew 22:37-40).

How dare we act as though we know what's going on in someone's life at a moment of desperation?
How dare we put laws and bills and legislature above loving a person?
How dare we fail to reach out to these people before they even get pregnant?
How dare we fail to be a part of healing after a traumatic event like an abortion?


For those of you who think that ending abortion will be the end of pro-life issues, what about the death penalty? What about providing families with extra assistance? What about poverty? What about world hunger? Don't you dare point your finger at someone else before you do what you can to address these equally pro-life issues. Please advocate for good politicians and legislature. But more importantly, advocate for the people who God calls us to love.

25 Before 25

A few weeks ago, I was spending time with some friends and we were talking about how another friend of ours made a list of 25 things to do before 25. We thought this was a great idea and set out to make our own versions of our lists. Some were 25 before 25, or 30 before 30... Some of us have long amounts of time, while others just have a few months to complete our lists.

We all got a piece of paper and something to write with and began writing. I wrote one thing down, and started on another one, and realized I couldn't think of anything else. I'd have an idea, and then not write it down because it felt unattainable. I didn't want to disappoint myself by not doing it.

I had a few things on my list, and gave up. But I've spent some more time thinking about it, and I do have a few things I'd like to do before I'm 25. So, without further ado, here's my 25 before 25 list:

1) Get a dog
2) Feel more settled (have my own place where I intend on being for longer than a year)
3) Be on Weight Watchers for at least 6 straight months (and hopefully longer after that).
4) Go to Maine
5) Get a tattoo
6) Go on a road trip
7) Climb a high peak
8) Vote (To be real honest, I haven't voted, and that's really extremely sad and embarrassing)
9) Stick to a budget for more than a month
10) Read 100 books
11) Get to the top of a tree climbing rope at camp
12) Finish my Harry Potter sweater (finally)
13) Go on a date
14) Take a month off of social media/smart phone
15) Decide if I want braces, get them if I do
16) RUN a 5k
17) Host a classy party (Hopefully a Christmassy one so I can wear my cute sweater dress)
18) Make a quilt
19) Get connected/involved in a church
20) Go to NYC and enjoy it (last time I went I stayed in my hotel room and read "Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (and Other Concerns)" Which is ironic because yes, yes they were).
21) Buy a nice pair of professional shoes that I can wear often (without worrying about the price).
22) Go on a beautiful, wonderful, fantastic trip to somewhere far away.
23) Learn how to cook one dish (rather than baking... I love baking but cooking... not so much).
24) Go on a camping trip with friends
25) Go on a canoe/kayak trip


I tried to put things down so that I could cross them off definitively. Instead of putting things like "get better at blah blah," I tried to put more specific things down. Hopefully I can get them done, but if I don't, I've decided I'll still love myself no matter what... Because this list is not the end of the world, and I made it to challenge myself to have fun and to make the most of life.

Spring

11.

11 is the number of weeks I need to wait until I'm at camp for 7 weeks of fun, Jesus, friends and adventure. You may think this is coming from no where, but I think the number 11 is perfectly placed here at Easter. 11 is a nice number. A doable number.

It's been a really tough winter. I've been feeling so misplaced this winter. I've been treading water, trying to keep my head above the waves of seasonal depression, and just honestly feeling worn down. It's been a long time since I felt in the right place, at home, settled.

This week, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about the cross, and what that means for us. When Jesus was hanging there on that cross, with the weight of the world on his shoulders, literally, he said "It is finished." He did this incredible act of sacrifice so we could live in grace. That means we don't need to worry about sin, we are free to live without it. We need not feel guilty, for he has overcome the world. He beat death by being resurrected three days later.

I think sometimes we just think about the resurrection at church, while we're listening to the familiar Easter story. But I also think there are real life resurrection stories that God puts in our lives to illustrated the raw contrast between death and life. This spring is that for me. New life contrasting a cold and dark winter. Sun shining warm on my skin; my cells soaking up each ray. New friends who are sweet as a kiss on the cheek. New opportunities that are exciting and wonderful and that remind me of who I am and all that I am capable of (with Him). All this after a winter of just trying to get by.

And all of these sweet blessing are because of a Savior who bled and died and rose again to conquer the grave to give grace to sinners.

7 reasons you should work at a camp this summer... Instead of getting an internship

It's no secret that I'm an advocate for camp. I believe that everyone as a kid should get the chance to spend a week at camp once a summer. They deserve to be out in nature, away from technology, enjoying independence, getting a little (or a lot) dirty. They just deserve it. But I also believe that every young adult (or any adult really) owes it to themselves to work at a camp. This belief means that I have this knee-jerk reaction to roll my eyes when I approach someone about working at camp and they say "No... I'm going to get an internship this summer." What they don't realize, is working at a camp is just as valuable as an internship (And I would argue it's more valuable). Here's why.

1) When you work at a Christian camp, you are investing in eternity. You're helping kids grow in their faith. That is so incredibly important and an awesome experience to have.

2) You're making lifelong friends with the people you work with. One summer can gain you friends who will challenge you, love you unconditionally (because they've probably seen you at your worst at camp... But they've also seen you at your best), and they will support you through anything.

3) Employers love it. I can't tell you how many interviews I've had where people brought up my camp experience because it was listed on my resume. They're impressed with the responsibility I was entrusted with for a whole summer. Also, you can get experience in a wide range of things that said employers may love. For example, at CCWNY, we always need people to help with publicity, help in the office, help with our brochure, be lifeguards, help in the kitchen... There are endless possibilities. Any job can be involved and you can get that experience at camp.


4) Money. I know it's odd to bring up because camps don't necessarily pay a ton... But when you think about the money you'd get working an unpaid internship... Money.


5) NATURE- You get to spend your summer outside. Not stuffed up in an office. Get dirt on your hands, not papercuts!!!! --Except I can't promise you won't get papercuts...


6) You only have limited time for this experience. Trust me, you don't want to let your college years go by without taking advantage of your summers off by going to camp!! You have the rest of your life to work in an office... You may only have these four summers to work at camp.


7) Skills- There are so many skills you can only learn through living and working and teaching with people for a whole summer. You learn so much about different personalities and people that will carry with you through the rest of your life. These lessons and skills have been so important to who I've become and I use them everyday.




8) Bonus reason: You get to wear crazy outfits almost everyday.

If you're looking for a camp to work at this summer, let me know!!!!! :)

Living is a lot Like Making Horcruxes... Except the Killing Part.

As I sit here in my apartment, candles burning, and only a few lights on, I'm thinking about life. And what 2014 taught me, and what I want 2015 to teach me. The past 5 years have been an uncertain time for me. I've left my heart in so many places. Lately, I've been thinking about how that's what it means to live life fully... Loving people and places so much that when you leave, it hurts. That's a sign that you're doing things right. I've left more places than I care to share... Because I had to do "what's best," or because my time was simply up there. But every time feels the same... Like I want more time with the people I fell in love with at that spot.... And I guess I've just come to be grateful that I've had experiences that I'm sad to leave, as opposed to experiences that I can't wait to get out of.

There are little places of my heart all over, and I'm happy and sad about that.
There's a piece in a little pre-school classroom in Webster where I worked for a month.
There's a piece of my heart Hogar de Vida in Guatemala, and specifically with a little boy named Oscar.
There's a piece of my heart at a private school in Rochester with a group of kids who love to learn, laugh, and play. They're creative and feisty and hilarious.
There's a piece of my heart with the volunteers at the Red Cross that I had to leave because of organizational problems.
There's a piece of my heart at a little house on Main St. in Marion where I learned some of life's toughest lessons, and where did most of my growing up.
There's also a piece down the music hallway in Marion High School where I learned to deal with those lessons through crying, laughing, singing, dancing, and playing.
There's a piece in North Chili where I read books, drank coffee, worked hard, and played harder through three years of college.
And a huge chunk of my heart is in Hunt, NY on a 125 acre plot of land on Short Tract Road that most people call Camp Cherith, but I call home.

I'm so thankful for each and every one of these experiences, and in some ways, 2014 felt like a year of leaving: of being ripped from places that I felt deep roots in. But it was also a year of hope, of new beginnings, new friends, and love. I'm learning to appreciate the fact that we can have good experiences, and move on... It's a hard process of leaving and learning new rules, but it's a good one.

So here's to 2015: a year of appreciating what I have before I have the chance to miss it.

How has God been good to you?

Every Thanksgiving, my family has a little Thanksgiving "service." It's a time to reflect on the meaning of Thanksgiving, and occasionally we do the traditional "go around the table and say what you're thankful for." This year, my beautiful sisters lead the service;  Jessa lead us in worship, and Dannis lead us in our reflection. The reflection was simple. She read us Psalm 116 and asked us to reflect specifically on how God has been good to you in the year 2014.

Psalm 116:7 says "Return to your rest, oh soul, for the Lord has been good to you."

Well. This kind of rocked my world, to be honest. This year has been really tough. In fact, a year ago was probably one of the toughest times in my life. I was going through a lot, making a lot of hard choices, working a job that I really didn't like, feeling like I didn't really have much meaning. But God was good to me.

He gave me a different job, which would open so many doors. 

He provided a way for me to be at camp all summer.

He directed me away from grad school, and offered so many other things.

But in those moments, it wasn't always that easy. I was left feeling bounced around; like a nomad. Every time I thought something was going to be permanent, it changed. And to be honest, it still is changing. I haven't had two similar weeks since August, I think, when I was unemployed. Just when I'd get settled, BOOM, something would come along that totally knocked my socks off. I started feeling like this meant that maybe God was feeling a little disorganized or something, or that maybe He just kinda forgot a little about me.

But when Dannis read Psalm 116, it clicked, and brought tears to my eyes. All along, all these steps, He's preparing His dream in my heart. All these different phases this year have lead me to something bigger, and I've appreciated each one. 

I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
    he heard my cry for mercy.
2 Because he turned his ear to me,
    I will call on him as long as I live.

3 The cords of death entangled me,
    the anguish of the grave came over me;
    I was overcome by distress and sorrow.
4 Then I called on the name of the Lord:
    “Lord, save me!”

5 The Lord is gracious and righteous;
    our God is full of compassion.
6 The Lord protects the unwary;
    when I was brought low, he saved me.

7 Return to your rest, my soul,
    for the Lord has been good to you.

8 For you, Lord, have delivered me from death,
    my eyes from tears,
    my feet from stumbling,
9 that I may walk before the Lord
    in the land of the living.

10 I trusted in the Lord when I said,
    “I am greatly afflicted”;
11 in my alarm I said,
    “Everyone is a liar.”

12 What shall I return to the Lord
    for all his goodness to me?

13 I will lift up the cup of salvation
    and call on the name of the Lord.
14 I will fulfill my vows to the Lord
    in the presence of all his people.

15 Precious in the sight of the Lord
    is the death of his faithful servants.
16 Truly I am your servant, Lord;
    I serve you just as my mother did;
    you have freed me from my chains.

17 I will sacrifice a thank offering to you
    and call on the name of the Lord.
18 I will fulfill my vows to the Lord
    in the presence of all his people,
19 in the courts of the house of the Lord—
    in your midst, Jerusalem.

God has never left you. He enjoys providing for you. Things that may not seem like a blessing, are the biggest blessings that you didn't even know how to ask for because you didn't think you needed them. Let your soul relax, for He has been good to you.